Wanna go to Kenya?

I do... but alas this summer is not looking good. There's always 2008 for the Robertson Family Vacation to Africa. but you should go.... really.

Look at pictures here.
Find information here.

Really... you should, um, go.

St. Louis Takes World Series Trophy, Says Your Stereo Is Next

Yikes...Anyone still up for visiting us over Christmas?

Look, it's not as bad as you think. All of our crimes have a sort of neighborly mid-west flavor to them. Our shootings are the friendliest you'll find anywhere in the nation. Our meth-labs give back to the community whenever possible and our casinos offer a "guns-for-chips" program that has proved wildly effective.

If you want that impersonal type crime they have out East you'll have to look elsewhere. Not here. In St. Louis we're neighbors. And we'll rob you like neighbors.

Go Cards. Or I bust one in yo' ass.

I Owe It All To Pepe

More Fake News

Al Gore Visits Berkeley, Charges Up Prop. 87 rally
SAYS MEASURE TO FUND GREEN ENERGY HELPS TACKLE CLIMATE CRISIS
By Rick Jurgens, MediaNews

Former Vice President Al Gore appeared in Berkeley on Monday to lend his celebrity and reputation as a crusader against global warming to a measure on California's Nov. 7 ballot that would tax oil companies to raise $4 billion for green energy projects.

"I'm here to change peoples' minds on the climate crisis, support Prop 87, and I need some new hemp flip-flops'' Gore called to a group of reporters after he emerged from his 100 miles per gallon Toyota Prius that brought him to a noontime rally in a sun-drenched park behind Berkeley's City Hall.

His motorcade also included three motorcycles, two limousines and a Dodge Ram 1500 heavy duty truck. "It's cool though", said the former VP when asked about the large motorcade. "Those vehicles run on alternative energy sources including condor eggs, elephant tusks and bald eagle heads."

Mr. Robertson's Class

Hooray! Yes students... you may rejoice. Mr. Robertson is no longer deathly ill. I know you missed him Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.



So get ready to work because he's back today. Mr. Robertson's Cross Dressing Class WILL be meeting at the usual time today, Monday, October 23rd.





Yes you heard me correctly! Thank the Lord for such a speedy recovery.

With Apologies To Pepe

A few things worth noting:

1- The Bachata music playing before Beltran's at-bat. Welcome to my world. Everyday. But much louder.

2- Joe Buck's call of the first two strikes. Understated. Let the tension do the talking.

3- Then there's Tim Mcarver's call on the replay after strike two. "Fastball strike one...strike two fouled off Beltran's right leg..." Idiotic and inane. Overstating the obvious with his let-me-clue-you-in tone. Classic Mcarver. Almost as rich as his 6th inning gem, "the infield is getting wetter and wetter the more it rains." Someone punch me. Just knock me out.

Thom Yorke Sent Me Some Spam

Caption Please...

Canadian Thanksgiving

This weekend I realized the number one contributing factor as to the way the history of western civilization played out:

Man's absolute inability to find China. Which is funny because it's pretty big.

The Norse, the Africans (and yes African discovery of the America's pre-dates Columbus by a century or two but tell that to the white Euros who wrote the books), and even the ass-rod himself, Chris Columbus, aka The Lord of Smallpox and Native Rape, all bumped into our fine continent thinking they were a tad further east.

Turns out even the Canadians were fooled upon their landing just to the north of us...

Martin Frobisher: "Ahh China. Now, about universal healthcare..."

Inuit Boy: "This is Newfoundland."

Thus, Canadian Thanksgiving. Much like our own American version, Canadian Thanksgiving celebrates a harvest of some sort, although only the good ol' US of A can make the claim that much of that first harvest was stolen from the Natives. Details. Also, Canadian Thanksgiving takes place on the second Monday in October. They had to be done with the harvesting earlier than the American settlers due to the fact that if you go outside in Canada any later than October you die.

Here were some highlights of our first celebration...











According to custom, Canadians traditionally feast on the hearts of baby seals. We had turkey.









Oddly enough, football is a part of the Canadian Thanksgiving festivities. Here Marita and I take in the Eagles-Cowboys game. Fun because Marita is from Philly and I'm a Cowboys fan by marriage. Not fun because the 'Boys lost. But in following with Canadian tradition Marita and I were allowed only reactions of indifference.







And in keeping with American custom Jaquie, who got in under the dating-a-Canadian clause , helped to force our traditions on all non- Americans present.

Happy Hamster Day

This here is my most favorite album of all time. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars. My friend Kevo bought me the original vinyl version when we lived together.

I would venture to say that the overwhelming majority of music worth listening to these days has at least a bit of artistic origin in one of Ziggy's eleven brilliant tracks. I hear Coldplay in Five Years. I hear the Lips in Soul Love and Starman. I hear alt-country in It Ain't Easy. And I hear one of the greatest rock songs ever in Suffragette City.

This record has touched lots of great stuff.


In this, this record is like the Hamster, my friend, Kevin Still.

He likes to touch people.








Men, women, children; indiscriminate is the Hamster, towards those he touches.

So here's to you Kevin. Touching people. It's what you do.








Happy Birthday.

Funny/Not Funny: The Office Season Premiere

Dwight's "False!", Creed saying that "a man or two might have slipped in there" and the final five minutes will bring me back next week. Other than that, the writers are treading dangerous ground. I told my wife after the season finale that a serious plot string tied into a comedy spreads like an infection and eventually kills it. I also, in fact, guaranteed the scene of Pam's fiancee crying. Awkward. And not the funny kind. The Jim and Pam plot line is quickly turning this show from one my wife and I enjoy thoroughly to one my wife watches with her girlfriends. So, for the good of us all...

FUNNY:











NOT FUNNY:














Again,

FUNNY:










NOT FUNNY:












Look maybe Jiff or Bobby or Tim or Stevie or Moljr or any number of you who know much more about screenwriting than I do can help me out here, but what is the logic of taking a formula that was (1) very funny and (2) won you an Emmy, and tossing it? And I'd like to believe I'm not just pissed about a romantic story line in general, but rather a story line that CHANGES THE MOOD OF THE WHOLE SHOW!!

PS- my wife is going to be furious with me on this one. She loved every moment of that embrace.

On Air Read # 3

After a drought that lasted over a year, the Golden Tone of sports talk smiles this way again:

----original message----

From: imisscactus@hotmail.com

To: thedanpatrickshow@espnradio.com

Date: September 19, 1:07 pm

Subject: Dodgers Finish

Dan

I wouldn't want to be accused of over-reacting, but that win last night propels LA to the Series. And brings peace to the Middle East.

Jesse
Dallas

Space Station Filled With Foul Odor

Sep 18, 8:11 AM (ET)

By SETH BORENSTEIN

HOUSTON (AP) - International space station astronauts pulled an alarm and donned protective gear Monday after smelling a foul odor that turned out to be an unknown vapor, NASA said.

"Things are calming down," NASA spokesman Kelly Humphries said.

The three astronauts put on gloves and goggles after noticing "some kind of vapor, primarily a bad smell," Humphries said.

Initial reports said there was light smoke aboard the orbiting lab 220 miles above Earth, but Humphries later said there was never any smoke.

Reports also indicate that just prior to and during the appearance of the mysterious vapor, Doug puttered around sheepishly avoiding eye contact.

Ownership

own·er·ship (onr-shp):
n'
1.The state or fact of being an owner.
2.Legal right to the possession of a thing.

For Sean: My Steve Irwin Post

Steve Irwin has died. If he knew not the Lord this means that he is currently spending his eternity in hell and by that I mean Petsmart.

If, however, he in fact knew the Lord he went straight to heaven where he was immediately mauled by a Jesus Tiger and killed.

The Brawl 2: A Song For Awesome Meaness

The followup to last year's smash hit, The Brawl, The Brawl 2: A song For Awesome Meaness , pulls no punches and pushes audiences to the threshold of any and all common decency that might happen to be left in the post Snakes on a Plane world.






















"This movie ate me alive...and that's a big mothef#$$ing needle!", exclaims Moljr.

Woohoo!












Check out my ninos! I'm a pre-school teacher this year. At least from 8-12. I've got a class of brillant and busy three year olds. There is less pottying and more conversation than I had anticipated (most of my class is in Spanish and I'm just about on a three year olds level... so we have some good chats over snack).



My job for this year has been up in the air... and yes it's the second week of school. Jesse is settled and concrete in his coordinating and directing spiritual lives here at Santiago Christian School. The question has been what's to fill my afternoons. Surprise... I've got Carolina back. It was decided today that I will in fact have a prelude to a special education class in the afternoons with David and Carolina together. Wonders never cease. I'm sure there is much adventure in store.

Hi. Look I'm In A Hurricane

Hi. My Jeep Could Eat Yours

That Baby Looks Like Lyndon Johnson

In case the news has yet to reach you, there is in fact a small child growing on the insides of my wife. This was confirmed again just yesterday with this smashing photo of the little tot. He/she's that blob favoring the left side of Chel's uterus. We were treated to a live viewing of a head, two arms and legs and a great looking heartbeat.

I celebrated by treating my wife to fast food and an Adam Sandler movie. I can only assume my prowess at husbandry will carry over smoothly into fatherhood.

Your prayers are coveted.