Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Fear and Loathing in Pre-K 3

If I have to open just one more can I'm going to vomit.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What Dirk Will Never Do.

I don't believe I've said a word about the NBA playoffs or the Mavs at all this year. But this FANTASTIC Suns/Spurs series and especially last nights game necessitates that something be said.
You can run the Nash/Dirk argument into the ground all you want. Talk about defensive liabilities. Talk about them having to separate to come into their own. Talk about MVP's. Whatever. But the bottom line is this:
You will NEVER, EVER see Dirk play with a sliver of the heart that Steve Nash runs the court with at all times.
You will NEVER, EVER see Dirk respond to a hard foul by manning up and getting in a guys face.
Last night when Bobby Horry hip-checked Nash into the scorers table and the wheels came off, it reminded me of that moment in Rocky, when he pops Apollo for the first time in round one and the music kind of starts...
Yeah, so to use a gross cliche, Steve Nash is Rocky.
Dirk, however, is Jackie Styles.

Jackie Stiles played her collegiate ball in the same town I was in during college. She apparently broke the all-time NCAA woman's basketball career scoring record. She was real good. But she was also, a girl.
Thus, Dirk is Jackie Stiles. Real good. But a girl on the court. Except for the jump shot. Dirk has a real one and I've still yet to ever see a female basketball player take an actual jumpshot.
Enjoy your trophy kiddo. Maybe you can play dress up with it while your buddy wins himself a title.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Dale Jr. Announces Departure From DEI; Unvails His New Paintball Gun

'heh heh, turkey jerky'

NASCAR superstar Dale Earnhardt Jr. announced today that he is leaving Dale Earnhardt Industries, the racing team founded by his later father. Dale Jr., who made the announcement wearing a DEI hat, DEI shirt, and DEI sunglasses said "Although we have the same goal in mind, we just don't share the same vision in terms of how to achieve that goal. " Earnhardt continued, "It's like jerky. Everybody likes jerky. But some people want deer jerky and others turkey jerky. " Jr. then grinned and said 'turkey jerky' three more times.
Earnhardt remained upbeat however, his mood lifted by a recent purchase of a Smart Parts SP 8 Automatic Paintball Assault Rifle. "It's cool though man. There's nothing like a sweet-ass paintball gun to lift your spirits."

Reactions from Circle K's and Flying J service stations across the nation were varied.

Monday, May 07, 2007

Dos AƱos

Two years, two countries and one baby ago I made a fantastic call and got married to this girl. That's her up there in left field.
Apparently last year we celebrated our Paper Anniversary; so called because of the "blank page waiting to be filled by our lives together." Chels and I decided to refer to it as our "Recycled Paper Anniversary" in an attempt to move towards a more green lifestyle. We got some funny looks referring to our marriage as 'recycled' though and eventually landed on the "100% Post Consumer Product Anniversary".
This year however its the Cotton Anniversary; so called because marriage is itchy and shrinks in hot water. And although that hasn't really been our experience, Aaron Neville says that cotton is the fabric of our lives and he's the romantic sort so I'm gonna run with it.
Also, according to about.com, the appropiate gift for the Cotton Anniversary is China which makes no sense to me because human rights issues are not romantic.
Anyways. Here's to us babe. We're the best! I love you.

Friday, May 04, 2007


I miss the blog o'Hamster.
I don't understand why there are email addresses where blogs used to be...
(stephanie, pepe.... yo no comprendo what to do-o).
The Mavs have wasted my time,
AND I missed a new episode of The Office last night.

yesterday my husband told me that I'm his beer. So Thank God It's Friday I guess.