Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Reason I Generally Remember To Put Pants On And Have Yet To Be Killed By Some Kind Of Home Appliance

My wife is the one in the green. Look at her. Bright, beautiful smile. Kind, attentive, compassionate eyes. And then there's me. Mostly confused.

My sweetie has been poured out like malt liquor at a hip-hop funeral this year. And with little to no thanks. Baby, the Mera's might not appreciate you, but I sure do.

Monday, March 27, 2006


okay.. for those of you looking soon to marriage, Costa Rica is a nice thought. Even if your not looking to marriage... I recommend Costa Rica (only for those already well travelled in Dominican land).

Check it out:

Many cheers to my sweet little cousin Cale and his stunning wife Ky! The Lord bless you and keep you...

Friday, March 24, 2006

Please Go Home Carny

And with last night's stunning loss at the hands of UCLA, Adam Morrison returns to what he knows best. The Waxachie County Fair. He runs the Zipper.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Fran and T.O....B.F.F.

Official press release transcript from the Dallas Cowboys Football Organization.

Owner, Jerry Jones:
"Well we took a good hard look at this football team and determined that since Michael retired to pursue a broadcasting career, the Cowboys had simply lacked that element of pompous, womanizing, jackassed behavior that had become our signature. We thought perhaps Keshawn was the answer, but as it turned out he tended more towards a jr. high type jackassness than the full blown manly boorish behavior this organization needed. Look, the bottom line is this...when an individual the likes of Michael Irvin vouches personally for someone, it's just hard to pass up. And with that, I'll turn things over to T.O., who I believe has prepared a statement in the form of a dope rap."

Transcripts from Owen's "dope rap":
"All you suckas in Philly thought I wouldn't get my money/well I'm in Dallas now, ha ain't that funny! Gone from green and white to the gray and blue/gonna do it now, like Ray Charles used to do!"

(When asked to explain the comparison of his football skills to a blind and dead R&B performer, T.O. offered no comment.)

Which of course leads us to the celebration of my dear and wonderful mother.

Today is my mom's birthday.

So here's to the woman who still plays catch with me from time to time. Here's to the woman who's overworked and underpaid. Here's to the woman who taught me the value of prayer, with (literally) a worn spot on the carpet next to her bed from her knees. Here's to the woman who persevered with a son who loves rock and roll perhaps a tad too much. Here's to the woman who at the age of ___ got herself a passport and flew to a third world country to visit her son and daughter in law. Here's to the woman who's coming back in two weeks. Here's to the woman who inspires me every single day with her love and desire to never, ever stop hearing from the Lord. Here's to the woman who, unlike T.O. is never boorish or African American for that matter, but when pressed, has been known to bust out with her very own dope rap.

Today's comment page is reserved for her. Share the birthday love!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Ch, ch, ch, Changes.

This was a recent few from our Las Hortensias rooftop... further proof that the Creator of the world really likes Jesse and I.

You might have noticed (to the right) that our address has changed. [It then proceeded to change again because I put the wrong zip code on the first change.] We have not moved... make no mistake. Our mail carrier may have moved to a different hanger in a different city, nonetheless...
God, we are still here in Las Hortensias so keep sending the good stuff.

The rest of you can send the necessities stuff... like Dr. Pepper, peanut butter and DiGornio grated parmesan cheese. Gracias.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Same Guise (Clever!)

For Stevie who seems to just like this sort of thing...


(comparison based on urine samples)

...and for Ace, who is mostly communist and prefers a sport that encourages crime, ankle injuries and the use of illegal drugs as opposed to a sport that has everything to offer, including perfectly legal substances intended for livestock and infertile women. I mean c'mon...


Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Best Dressed of Dia de la Indepencia

Ladies and Gentleman... I know you. I know you've looked and surmised the frills and frocks of The Oscars. The sexy, the scandelous and scantily clad, maybe refreshed with one or two people who perhaps covered themselves in taste. I know you, but I know not what you have seen for The Oscars visually elludeds us.. as Lost and 24 have gone and done before it. HOWEVER... I can and I will bring you in its place The Best Dressed of Dia de la Indepencia.

Rowdy Red.
Whether in a subtle paisely or a vivid akward splash, red was the color of the night (uh, day). The perfect color to offset the king of accessories in any country... the cowboy hat.

A Wifebeater with Overall Buckles Combo was the choice for Those Who Dare.
"We were trying to stay true to the spirit of the movie," remarked Alajandro and Miguel. "Yeah, Brokeback Mountain was, commo like, mad yo."

But the overall winner, who continues to redefine style time and time again.....


Thursday, March 02, 2006

Can You Help Dwight Schrute?

"Question...Recently acquired a dvd copy of 'Sales and Selling: How To Kill The Competition Literally'...I would like to transfer the audio from said dvd onto my ipod. How do I go about doing that?'

"Easy. Just download the movie onto your itunes and import it into your ipod Dwight."

"Mmhm. Question. How do I do it if I don't have a video ipod?"

"Oh. Um. You may have to ask all your blogger friends."


"Excuse me?"

"Question. Do you want to form... an alliance?"

Can you help Dwight? And if you say "buy a video ipod", trust me, you will be on the wrong side of Schrute.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

A Clear And Present Danger

"David, you made it, good. Do you think you were followed?"

"No sir. There was a scorpion for a while but I lost him at the fence."

"Christ man! Are you okay?"

"It's nothing new. Comes with the territory."

"Well don't mess with Texas I guess. David, how's Kathy, ...and the little ones?"

"Fine sir."

"Good. I'm anxious to see them again."

"Mr. President, did you ask me here tonight to discuss my wife and kids?"

"Ahh...David, ever the 'action man'."

"It's what you pay me for sir."

"Right, right. Well, David, its just a nasty situation for all involved."

"Nasty...Mr. President, have you seen the press? There's an insurgence brewing. I think we passed 'nasty' months ago."

"I've read the goddamn papers David! Just remember who's neck is on the line here! I made promises David! Promises I intend to keep. It's your job too you know."

"Actually sir the polls have no baring on my employment what-so-ever."

"Right, well I guess that's precisely what makes you fit to do what it is you do."

"Mr. President, for the preservation of your administration, let alone your personal safety, its best that you know nothing of what it is I do."

"Well that brings us to it then, the 'preservation of the administration'. David, every day that Gonzales is allowed to be in operation, illegal trafficking is on the rise. The economy is shot to hell. Unemployment is skyrocketing. My administration...I, not to put to fine a point on it, am made to look more and more like a blubbering fool with every shipment of cheddar he brings across the border. When they laughed at the cat, it was one thing. I could laugh with them..."

"Until you let the press link him to this office."

"And the whole thing only made him more of a hero, I know, I know! But their were cogs in place that fell for that."

"Cutter, my count you're running low on cogs sir."

"GODDAMMIT!!! Why does he have to be so fucking fast!"

"They all have bare spots Mr. President...the rabbit, the bird, the skunk. The word is Gonzales' weak link is women. He is 'friends to everyone's seester', they say."

"Well, something has to be done David, something."

"What is it you're saying sir."

"Exactly what needs to be said and nothing more. (deep breath) Senior Gonzales represents a clear and present danger to this nation and its mice."

"Very good Mr. President."