Monday, October 09, 2006

Canadian Thanksgiving

This weekend I realized the number one contributing factor as to the way the history of western civilization played out:

Man's absolute inability to find China. Which is funny because it's pretty big.

The Norse, the Africans (and yes African discovery of the America's pre-dates Columbus by a century or two but tell that to the white Euros who wrote the books), and even the ass-rod himself, Chris Columbus, aka The Lord of Smallpox and Native Rape, all bumped into our fine continent thinking they were a tad further east.

Turns out even the Canadians were fooled upon their landing just to the north of us...

Martin Frobisher: "Ahh China. Now, about universal healthcare..."

Inuit Boy: "This is Newfoundland."

Thus, Canadian Thanksgiving. Much like our own American version, Canadian Thanksgiving celebrates a harvest of some sort, although only the good ol' US of A can make the claim that much of that first harvest was stolen from the Natives. Details. Also, Canadian Thanksgiving takes place on the second Monday in October. They had to be done with the harvesting earlier than the American settlers due to the fact that if you go outside in Canada any later than October you die.

Here were some highlights of our first celebration...











According to custom, Canadians traditionally feast on the hearts of baby seals. We had turkey.









Oddly enough, football is a part of the Canadian Thanksgiving festivities. Here Marita and I take in the Eagles-Cowboys game. Fun because Marita is from Philly and I'm a Cowboys fan by marriage. Not fun because the 'Boys lost. But in following with Canadian tradition Marita and I were allowed only reactions of indifference.







And in keeping with American custom Jaquie, who got in under the dating-a-Canadian clause , helped to force our traditions on all non- Americans present.

7 comments:

zenner's said...
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zenner's said...

seems your wife wasn't able to make it to jesse and the ladies night.

scandleous!

Canadian Thankgiving... so that's what they're calling this kind of tomfoolery these days.

Esue said...

Wow, the hair color change is rather dramatic, don't you think Chelsea?

Mr. Douglass said...

won't it be ironic when one day, after we're invaded by China, we are re-named "China-East" and thus, in some weird way, Columbus and others did actually find the right location for China but missed China by roughly seven hundred years on the linear time scale? won't that be ironic I say? i think it says something about this in Ezekiel or maybe Jeremiah. i dunno, but you get my point.

Sean said...

Pepe,

You should write that book, Vonnegut-style. It'll be a hillarious account of post-apocolypse retold journalist-style. But I'd leave anyone from the cast of 90210 out of it (speaking of Jeremiah).

Dominicans,
What's this "canada" you keep talking about?

zenner's said...

this canada is really a fascinating place... they have 'a' gun up there (for protection) and they all sit around and smoke pot, eh.

Deacon Day said...

dude, as a canagin, this thanksgivin blog was FUNNY.
but you totally missed the part aboot gittin PLASTERED and TANKED till 're faces fall off.
i'm from nova scotia and the newfie bit was good too. i'm in "Toranno" now and everyone here is a hockey fan. pfft! THEY SUCK! football rules. even cfl sometimes.
later.