Oh Captain...

If while minding your own business one day, a professional sports franchise should happen to fall in your lap, do not fret. Here is a most blessed example of what to do with a group of big sweaty men.

Cuban continues to run his team from the bleachers. I've heard it said that if fans got to call the shots it would be the death of the franchise. If that is the case, you have sum splainin to do:

Since purchasing the team in the midst of the 1999/2000 season, the team has responded to Cuban with nothing but winning: 30-18 in the second half of that season including a 9-1 record in April that year.

Since 2001, the team has not missed the playoffs. Prior to that year Dallas had experienced an 11 year playoff drought. That's a decade plus one people. In the run since Cuban's purchase, the team has experienced its best season ever (60-22 in 02/03), had their first player ever named to all-NBA honors (Dirk Nowitzki, 00/01) and moved into a new venue. This year coach Avery Johnson and Dirk are atop Coach of the Year and MVP balloting respectively.

His fines from officials sometimes top seven figures annually. He gives out his email address at games and answers most that are sent to him, with many unique details of the American Airlines Center (the 4-sided shotclock) coming in response to fan requests.

Cuban has made Maverick's games the place to be in the chilly months of Dallas. It took one game to get me hooked. In my first NBA experience ever I watched the Mav's slap around Koby and the Lakers for four quarters. The next day I was online shopping for a slick tee with which to announce my new found allegiance.

And as if that was not enough of a shining resume for Cuban, last night he went and did this.

My god. I went to a fan appreciation night once. I got a can coozy. What'd you get?