Thursday, May 10, 2007

Dale Jr. Announces Departure From DEI; Unvails His New Paintball Gun

'heh heh, turkey jerky'













NASCAR superstar Dale Earnhardt Jr. announced today that he is leaving Dale Earnhardt Industries, the racing team founded by his later father. Dale Jr., who made the announcement wearing a DEI hat, DEI shirt, and DEI sunglasses said "Although we have the same goal in mind, we just don't share the same vision in terms of how to achieve that goal. " Earnhardt continued, "It's like jerky. Everybody likes jerky. But some people want deer jerky and others turkey jerky. " Jr. then grinned and said 'turkey jerky' three more times.
Earnhardt remained upbeat however, his mood lifted by a recent purchase of a Smart Parts SP 8 Automatic Paintball Assault Rifle. "It's cool though man. There's nothing like a sweet-ass paintball gun to lift your spirits."

Reactions from Circle K's and Flying J service stations across the nation were varied.

7 comments:

stevie said...

Don't get it. Would love to get it, don't.

zenner's said...

Love that you ALWAYS point that out Stevie.

Anonymous said...

i'm from arkansas. i get this. and it's hella funny.

Sean said...

I am from Arkansas, and although I know what you're talking about as if I were an insider (the hamster), I feel more like stevie here. I mean, c'mon, NASCAR and paintball are two weekend rituals of some of my friends and I would rather clip my toenails than partake in either.

I like dominicans, however, which might be more than most of my nascar watchin' paintball shootin' friends can say. I mean, I've TASTED presidente on a warm day, for crying out loud.

Anonymous said...

i like nascar, yet i am not offended by your fun poking. there are some real hillbillies out there, thank God i didn't grow up with in in pierce city...ummm...nevermind.

Anonymous said...

seaner -

what the hell? you are from arkansas. and whether you partake in such sleeveless, smokeless tobacco activities, you can still appreciate the associations. i have watched as much NASCAR as you have read emily bronte, but that doesn't make us less or them more. so laugh it up, fuzzball.

ummmm,
-kevin?

stevie said...

Hey Hamster-

Explain this.