10 Things I Think I Think

I wrote a heavy last time and have yet to be back. But I live in a foreign country and am in short supply of company willing to listen to me ramble about seemingly trivial nonsensical types things. If my wife has to listen to one more hypothesis as to why I think a bar fight would be fun she might lose it. So, for her sake, here are ten things I think I think.

1. I think the view from my third floor apartment is spectacular. Out the living room window, (which happens to be big enough for a truck to drive through, which has never happened although a bat flew through once), are some rooftops, too many royal palm trees to number, and beyond those are mountains. The mountains actually take up about 180 degrees of the horizon encircling our place. Tropical mountains too: green, terrible, prehistoric. The even better view is from our roof. The wife and I head up there to dry clothes and drink beer. From the roof you can see the ball field with the goats in the outfield. Thing wouldn't pass for a dump in the states but here kids and grown men alike play there daily. I've played there a couple times. When I bat I can see my wife hanging laundry on our roof with mountains behind her. The view from that ball field is spectacular.

2. I think I have a strong distaste for David Gray. When he sings he moves his head real funny and his accent seems to get thicker, which I believe he does intentionally, playing up the whole Irish oppressed song-writer card. Pooser. Point, click: iTunes. Point, click: skip. There. Keane. Much better and you can't say I have an unfair bias towards European artists.

3. I think I'm going to send our copy of "Waiting for Snow in Havana" to Kevin and hope the book will make the rounds in KC and then move on to perhaps Arkansas and Texas. Kevo, Carlos Eire writes a lot like you do. You feel like you're out back drinking with him as you read. A Cuban refugee who lived through the revolution and loves Nirvana and Jesus...this book is for you.

4. I think I missed Kevo's birthday and am sheepishly sending him a book in an attempt to make up for it.

5. I think Houston and Atlanta just literally played about twenty innings. I wonder if they started reselling beer. At regular season games they stop selling after the seventh to give us a chance to sober up before we head home. I usually buy two during the stretch. The seventh inning stretch began to be seen regularly at ball games after Howard Taft attended a ball game during his presidency. He was too fat to sit in the seats comfortably and stood up between the top and bottom of the seventh inning prompting the rest of those in attendance to stand. Thus, the seventh inning stretch. Thus, Jesse buys two more. Thanks Howie. Too bad you let yourself go so much you died naked, stuck in your tub.

6. I think St. Louis will sweep their way through the post season. That's right. Not a single loss.

7. I don't think Ace will give a damn. My mother, however, will. She will also be in the Dominican for the fall classic and get to experience the hysteria and love of baseball on this island first hand. If it ends up being a Cardinals/Yankees series it should be real fun. The fan breakdown here goes about 70% New York, 30% Boston and .000001% St. Louis. Me. That equals more than 100% but I'm not Dominican so drop it.

8. I think I miss Texas. It's a little more than a year since I relocated. It grows on you really. The first time I ever visited Texas I saw a guy in tight jeans and a cowboy hat actually open the hood of his F-150 by hitting it with his fist just so in just the right spot. Texas is the only state I know of that likes to and can get away with naming products after itself. The Texas Ranch Ford. The Texas BBQ Burger. A Texas-Sized beer. Go ahead. Try that with your home state..the Missouri Backwoods Ford...a big hardy Missouri burger..? I hear Texas has two of the top five fattest cities in the country though: Houston (1) and Dallas (4). Might wanna try a Rhode Island burger guys.

9.I think Esue should quit her job and leave those poosers in the lurch like they did her. She won't though. Too much integrity that, E. And unconditional love for her students. Somebody buy that girl a beer for me.

1o. Things I think they got right in the Dukes of Hazard film:

1. Freeze frames. They were all over the movie with the "Uh-Oh..what'll those Duke boys do now?" narrative right on top of them.
2. Willie Nelson. Enough Said.
3. The Dukes showed an interest in females. This never, ever happened in the series and if I had not been eight would have caused all kind of unhealthy suspicion.
4. Flaming arrows shot into bales of hay that blow up for no apparent reason.
5. A bar fight. Still on my list of things to do before I die.

Things I thought they got horribly wrong in the new Dukes of Hazard film:

1. No Waylon Jennings. Neither on the theme song or the narration. Someone tell me if he's dead. Its the only excuse.
2. Burt Reynolds as Boss Hog. Hog has to be short and round. Has to be. Though there was a scene with him wearing a bib and cooking crawdads which seemed to make its way into every episode.
3. They tried to make Roscoe P. Coletrain's character intimidating. Huge mistake. He was THE comic relief of the show.
4. One flimsy appearance of Flash and no "Get in the back seat Flash!" anywhere to be found.
5. Jessica Simpson. Enough said.

OK. Laters. Thanks to Mark for the use of the word "pooser"...though really I didn't even ask.