Cardinals-Mets Opening Day Journal

I missed the first with a crying baby. Jackson’s first cardinal game sure isn’t going all Field Of Dreamy-like.

Top Second. Delgado flies out to right. St. Louis:1 Delgado:0.

Wright just grounded out to Eckstein. God he looks like an 8 year old when he throws to first. Except for the part when the ball comes out at about 90 mph.

Alou singles up the middle. This hit was brought to you by the AARP.

Shawn Green gets his first career hit off Carpenter. I’ll have to wait on all my Shawn Green jokes.

Jose Valentine, or as I like to call him Herm Edwards, grounds out to Pujols. That was a hell of a play. Earning his Gold Glove already.

Two more innings missed on a phone call. Someday I hope to be a professional writer.

Cardinals just botched a suicide. Right pitch. Right time. Right batter. Carpenter just miffed it. Dropped the ball on home plate. Kennedy was tagged going back to third. Won’t see that play during the Yankee game tomorrow.

Green just got his second hit off Carpenter. Another hit for Shawn Green is another missed opportunity at a Shawn Green joke. Mets hitters are picking up Carpenter a bit too well. Not a good Fantasy Jackson night.

Here’s proof that LaRussa is ballsy if nothing else. Randolf had a perfect spot for a suicide with Glavine up and didn’t use it. No one executes that play as well or as much as the Cardinals. I mean until last inning.

Jackson is crying again. Reyes just walked. Carpenter can’t throw a strike. He’s thrown 63 pitches through 3 1/3 innings. LaDuca’s up. Bases loaded. Two outs. Two strikes. Jackson is still crying. I think he might need something. Base hit up the middle. 4-0 Mets. Carpenter gets a visit. My fantasy ERA is skyrocketing. Jackson has stopped crying. Two two-out RBI hits. 5-0 Mets. Daddy is crying.

Jackson has this funny thing about being held. Cradle him when he’s not tired and he’s likely to smack you in the face. If he’s awake, and fussy its one hand behind the head and one on the back. Rock very slightly. Change any of these details and he will let you know with a shriek I like to call the Gum-Blade.

Who’s worse: Joe Morgan or Tim McCarver? To compare the two is to risk creating a black hole of ego. Morgan just told Willie Randolph “Great job last year, I was pulling for you!” in an in-game interview. Professionalism. Now he just asked LaRussa “What was up with that DUI man?”

I missed the last 3 innings with a dirty diaper and some gas. Strange. Beltran just threw out Eckstein at home on no bounce. Play of the game so far. Rally killer. Only the second out but this inning’s over.

Glavine pitched around Pujols. Ball four was actually a strike but Glavine said he didn’t mean it. Two on for Rolen. Glavine plunks him. Has anyone else noticed that the best defensive third baseman of all time is 6’4, 250 and quick?

Bases decked for guess who? Yadi Moe. You’ve got to be kidding me. Could he seriously kill the Mets again!? Or, might he bloop out to short. Latter. 5-1 Mets.

Tyler Johnson in. Just made Delgado look silly on a third strike slider. Wright flies out. Tyler, you’re game check will be waiting in your locker.

Glavine’s been chased. And Shawn Green looks like Eric Bana. Sorry. It’s the best I can do when a guys goes 2 for 3. Edmonds managed an infield hit. Edmonds is like the friend that stands you up one night only to show up the next morning to help you clean your garage. Every time you’re fit to hate him he comes through. Bastard.

E’s Son’s of Hollywood takes the evening’s most annoying spot. From the channel that brought us Anna Nicole Smith and the Girls Next Door comes more of the same: rich, sexually delinquent bi-polar people.

Flores just set down the Mets in order. Two scoreless bullpen innings is the bright-spot for the Cardinals. A surprise in every box.

Pete Gammons is now doing an in-game interview with Tom Glavine in the shower. I would expect this from FOX but ESPN? They’re talking off speed pitches and conditioner. And how does Pete Gammons not have a steady stream of drool running down both sides of his mouth at all times? That guy has the jowls of a basset hound.

Bottom 8. Two on no outs for the Cardinals. Preston Wilson struck out on three pitches, head nipple and all.

Now Pujols. I just can’t think that Rolen is that threatening batting behind him. Apparently the Mets don’t either. 3 Straight balls. And a walk. Rolen’s the tying run at the plate. Here we go.

Pitching change. And why not? Tomorrow’s an off day. And can anyone tell why the Giants are having their first game a full 48 hours after opening day?

This at bat by Rolen might just foretell the kind of year Pujols will have. Rolen comes through here and teams will think twice about pitching around Albert. If not Pujols leads the majors in walks and Lance Berkman is your MVP.

And Herm Edwards make the new play of the game to rob Rolen of two RBI’s. Not sure what that means for Pujol’s MVP bid.

Brad Thompson is pitching for the birds. Looks like his parent’s signed his permission slip again this season. Seriously, this kid still has acne. No, I mean on his face.

Joe Morgan just said the ‘step to third throw to first move’ should be against the rules. Seeing as how it’s worked twice in the history of baseball is evidence that Joe just really wants to hear his own voice . 6-1 Mets. The Met’s defense is going to win this game for them and I GUARANTEE Morgan will say it was “just like I said.” I need some ice cream.

“I believe the Mets will be the best team in the National League because of the infield they run out there every day.”

Direct quote. Morgan is a hack.

Mets win 6-1. There's always tomorrow. And by that I mean Tuesday.

Time to feed the boy.