Fran and T.O....B.F.F.

Official press release transcript from the Dallas Cowboys Football Organization.

Owner, Jerry Jones:
"Well we took a good hard look at this football team and determined that since Michael retired to pursue a broadcasting career, the Cowboys had simply lacked that element of pompous, womanizing, jackassed behavior that had become our signature. We thought perhaps Keshawn was the answer, but as it turned out he tended more towards a jr. high type jackassness than the full blown manly boorish behavior this organization needed. Look, the bottom line is this...when an individual the likes of Michael Irvin vouches personally for someone, it's just hard to pass up. And with that, I'll turn things over to T.O., who I believe has prepared a statement in the form of a dope rap."

Transcripts from Owen's "dope rap":
"All you suckas in Philly thought I wouldn't get my money/well I'm in Dallas now, ha ain't that funny! Gone from green and white to the gray and blue/gonna do it now, like Ray Charles used to do!"

(When asked to explain the comparison of his football skills to a blind and dead R&B performer, T.O. offered no comment.)


Which of course leads us to the celebration of my dear and wonderful mother.







Today is my mom's birthday.



So here's to the woman who still plays catch with me from time to time. Here's to the woman who's overworked and underpaid. Here's to the woman who taught me the value of prayer, with (literally) a worn spot on the carpet next to her bed from her knees. Here's to the woman who persevered with a son who loves rock and roll perhaps a tad too much. Here's to the woman who at the age of ___ got herself a passport and flew to a third world country to visit her son and daughter in law. Here's to the woman who's coming back in two weeks. Here's to the woman who inspires me every single day with her love and desire to never, ever stop hearing from the Lord. Here's to the woman who, unlike T.O. is never boorish or African American for that matter, but when pressed, has been known to bust out with her very own dope rap.

Today's comment page is reserved for her. Share the birthday love!